A strange thought crossed my mind this morning as I lay in bed, wishing I didn't have to get up. When I was young and growing up in Baldwinsville, NY there were two places on the edge of town that the other kids would tell me were evil.

"The satan worshippers go there." they would say.

So of course my first question was "And do what?"

Which got me a simplistic, " Worship Satan, of course!"

They are both still very rural, heavily wooded areas, away from most houses and about as far from the village as anyone can get without being a part of another village. Smokey Hollow Road and Lampson Road. I had even stared in awe as some kids lied about going out there at night, wondering at their bravery. I was a very good christian girl back then. Reading my bible and hoping what I didn't understand wouldn't hurt me.

I wonder if those areas were just the quite meeting places of a loving and friendly coven, not the entrances of hell that I worried they were when I was a child. If it was merely the home of a solitary pagan or wiccan who got a bad reputation because of the contents of their garden and thier lack of attendance to a particular christian church. A lone figure dancing their happiness to the full moon suddenly turns into a goat sacrifice.

As I thought about all of this I realized I was the strange, non-church going witch who lives on the lonely rural road on the edge of town with a creepy looking garden and a witch weatervane on her roof. I have become what I once feared.

Isn't it odd how life turns things around.

I bought By Oak, Ash, and Thorn By D. J. Conway several months ago based souly on recommendations by others. As I read through it I got really bored with it and finally after less than half way through decided it wasn't for me and set it away for a while. I've got a few books that I have done this with and it really doesn't bother me.
Well I recently picked it back up again, for no real reason at all, and now it is completely speaking to me. Suddenly everything in it is making sense, and I am learning a lot from it already. I already feel the need to re-read it and pick up the bits I know I've lost as I rushed through it. I still don't like the meditation descriptions that are written out. They almost make me want to think that those images are what I should see, not my own, so I skip them just so I'm not influenced by them. But the rest of it I am really learning from. I have always been fascinated by celtic culture and there are tons of references to celtic mythology.
I've begun meditating more, so that I can experience my own spirit journey and have already met my newest spirit guide. I have seen the most amazing things in such a short time, I am not sure how to express how it is all making me feel. It's almost like this was what I was missing in my path all along. I really feel like when I bought the book just wasn't the right time for me to learn from it but somehow now is.

//5 things you ate in the last 24 hours:

Meatball Sandwiches ,Brownies, cheese ,hotdogs, salad

//5 things you did so far today:
woke up, took a shower, got dressed, took a walk around my yard, turned on the 'puter

//5 things you can hear right now:
The TV, chewing, someone walking, pouring soda, keyboard being typed on

//5 things you do when your bored:
color, draw, take a walk, watch, TV, surf the 'net

//5 places to go in your area:
Salmon river falls, Hilside Flea market, Salmon River, Oneida Lake, Talcott Falls

//5 people that never fail to cheer you up

The hubby, two kids, Sean Bean, and Daragh O'Malley(Even though I don't really know the last two, they still cheers me up)

//5 things (not people) you cant live without

food, water, shelter, clothes, my family

//5 things (not people) you love
flowers, books, music, trees, my property

//5 of your favorite movies
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Star Wars saga, The entire James Bond series, Any remake of Shakespere, and anything else with Sean Bean in it

//5 favorite songs [at present]

Angels-Within Temptation, Freight Train-Brand New Sin, Stand My Ground-Within Temptation, Life is Beautiful-Sixx A.M., Prayer-Distrubed

I started an online wicca school. I thought I needed the structure and more learning in a group atmosphere. I was so excited to begin, hoping that I would come out of it richer and fuller in my spiritual life. I have been looking forward to this for months. Even emailing the teachers several times to make sure I had got everything correct. When I finally did get into it I couldn't wait to begin. I read through half of the required material on my own as soon as I was aloud access to it.

Now I'm trying not to be too judgmental about it, but right from the get go I felt like I was taking a huge step backwards instead of forwards. The school has their own textbook which nicely enough is free to download if one is signed up for the school. But the further I read into it the more it felt like a cliff notes version of every other wicca 101 book I've ever read. Concepts are browsed over, not gone into detail. So if a specific subject interests you and you would like more detail about it, you are on your own. The author muddies it with her own beliefs then contradicts herself with common beliefs on subjects. The coursework is even more skimmed over and on my second assignment I was so truely bored with it all that I could only give them a half hearted attempt to compliment their half hearted teaching methods.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who will completely disagree with me but online wicca schools are just what they seem. The same thing one can find in books in the book store or library, rewritten by someone who thinks they know more than they actually do. Writing a wicca book may be tough, I'll surely never attempt it, but just because you do so certianly doesn't give one the right to call themselves a teacher.

Born solitary, to live solitary

This really isn't for me.